Considering Divorce
Divorce means different things to different people.
To some, divorce is a heart wrenching failure of their marriage. To others, divorce is the beginning of a fresh new start. Most likely it will be a combination of both.
You probably planned on being with this person for the rest of your life and you may have even built up your life around the foundation and security of your marriage. Your day to day activities revolved around your spouse. Your friends and family may have been intertwined so that you were recognized not as individuals, but as a couple. You became “so & so.”
The reality is that what you have been working towards in sharing your life with someone is going to come to an end. This is a very hard concept to deal with. All of the time you have spent with your spouse, all of the gatherings you have gone to together, all of the vacations that you’ve shared together, the birthdays, the holidays, the Saturdays.
What will you do? Where will you go? How are you going to handle this? How are you going to pay for this? How am I going to tell my family & friends? How do I explain this to my kids? Can this really be happening?
These are the some of the questions that invade our thoughts. Those of you that have been married a long time may be able to appreciate looking back over the many years thinking of all of the time spent trying keep the relationship going for the sake of staying married. You think why should you have even bothered? You’re getting divorced now … right?
What it all comes down to is that it is you and your soon to be ex are going to be the ones to decide how this really ends. If the two of you are not in sync, be prepared for what could be very long, drawn out and draining divorce. Neither of you will end up winning anything. One persons stubbornness is enough to ruin it for many. The fact is you will probably take along innocent bystanders with you. Your kids, family and friends are all going to be sucked in.
Some of you considering divorce will not have the option, but if you do, talk with your spouse before you start anything. Chances are you are getting divorced because you can no longer communicate with your spouse so the idea of me telling you that you need to talk this all out with them sounds ridiculous. Well guess what, do you think they will be any more agreeable when they have a lawyer with them that recommends that they no longer take your calls? The point is, once you start going down the divorce pathway, unless you two have a pretty good roadmap of what you are doing, you will find that the road may not be taking you where you thought you were going.
Hopefully the two of you can do this civilly, for if you can’t you might be surprised at how bad things can really get.
That is what this website is really for. Informing people about what really can happen during a divorce. Divorce court is not like you see it on T. V. The Judge on television actually looks like s/he feels for the couple and tries to do the best s/he can for them. This is definitely not real life. Judges don’t care. Lawyers don’t care. So if you rely on them to look out for your best interest, you will not like the outcome.
